The goal of adoption is to create a nuclear and legal family, however an unpleasant adoption issue should be addressed.  Can an adoptive parent fail to bond with a child or vice versa?  Yes.  Some adoptions are interrupted, that is to say the placement is terminated before final decree because the family is not able to bond.  In other circumstances, a parent leaves after the adoption is final, abandoning any relationship with the child.  Naturally that is not the desired or intended outcome.

        Adoption is neither a better way, nor a worse way of building a family than by birth parentage.  It's simply different.  An adoption does not make a child special - each is special and unique unto himself or herself during each phase of development - this does not originate with status as an adoptee.  This celebration of individuality applies to all children.  Adoptive parents choose to adopt.  Some birth children are planned, and some arrive not by conscious choice or planning.   Adoption does not elevate, demean or denigrate the status of a family.  Other children's words can be cruel, but with knowledge, your child's self esteem will survive quite well.

        If the child is young, parents must decide whether to disclose the adoptive status, and if so, when.  If the adoption is treated as merely another daily fact of life, that may engender trust and open communication with your child about the adoption as well as other matters.  Each family must make their own decisions.  I recommend families affirmatively decide now.  Lack of decision is in itself a decision not to disclose.

        At some point the child will likely have issues to resolve surrounding the birth parent's relinquishment or abandonment.  A child may fantasize about the absent birth parent, assigning super-human characteristics or perhaps undue negative aspects.  Books are available in public libraries, and it may be a good idea to touch base with a professional counselor.  I understand that with open communication, adoptive children will do fine and have a positive self-image.  How parents deal with adoption issues and communicate will likely have great weight.

        Some children wish to seek out the absent birth parent, and some have no desire.  Numerous persons have shared with me that they were adopted themselves.  Contrary to the images conjured by TV programs, each has indicated their adoptive family was there for them and nurtured them, having no desire to contact the absent parent(s).  If the adoptive parents are secure in their parentage and not threatened by birth parents or possible future relationship, willingness to assist in locating the birth parents at an age appropriate time and granting decision making ability - options may empower the child and help to make him or her secure with self.  A meeting with birth parent(s) may or may not ultimately prove to be positive.  I doubt there is a "right answer," but think these are decisions which must be weighed in each family created by adoption.  You should prepare yourself to make decisions on similar issues which are right for your family.